What is Suchi Relaxation?
Physical/ spiritual wellness
This is a small clip of me in 2004 at the age of 42. I worked my body like an athlete to free my mind and personal space of energies that drained my mental and physical self in order to continue on my spiritual path toward enlightenment, so that I would have the skills to bring my findings to others, along with my story.
I had already shown signs of hereditary arthritis in 2003. Having visited the depths of darkness before in regards to depression and after I had worked so hard to heal my mind, I was adamant that no matter what I would keep my physical body strong. I’d had visions of myself in the future being unable to walk, though I had not told anyone. I had been writing a book and figured this would show in my writing someday
It would be another few years before a final diagnosis. What began with pain in my right hand became something far worse than I had anticipated. Endless visits to specialists and various consultants it was 2006 before being diagnosed with arthritis in my neck, back, hands, feet, knees and hips. An MRI scan also confirmed in my lower spine degenerative disc disease.
During this time I had also been diagnosed with pernicious anaemia that caused fatigue and exhaustion. If left undiagnosed this can cause nerve and muscle damage, clearly this had been missed for three years. I personally wasn’t sure if pernicious anaemia had not caused permanent damage to the peripheral nerves. Pernicious anaemia alone can cause great difficulty in getting through a day. Also known to affect the central nerves in the spinal cord and I wondered if this gone untreated for three years had contributed to my inability to walk in later years. The inability to work and the chance of developing a career began to look bleak.
Then just to throw something else into the mix I was diagnosed by a consultant rheumatologist with fibromyalgia doctors knew little about this diagnosis back then. If truth be told you could tell those doctors that believed this was indeed a diagnosis and those that dismissed it as if the patient were making it up and all up in their head about it. This caused pain from the tips of my fingers to the tips of my toes. I had to give up work, driving, sewing, cooking, painting and all the things that had kept my spirits up. I could not even hold a book to read. I felt like a broken woman and there were times when I had been unable to get out of bed at all. Any physical, especially weight bearing activity would exhaust me and cause excruciating pain. If I did manage to do anything the following day I would pay for it big time. Still I would never allow myself to be depressed again.
Endless prescribed medication had such a detrimental effect upon my physical being, doctors looked at me as if I had been exaggerating the side effects of one drug in particular. ‘They take a month to get into your system. You would not have these side effects after three days, give it time.’ They would say. I listened to those that I believed to be the professionals and continued to take the meds.
At one point I had been taking at least 8 tramadol a day further down the road I had been prescribed Amitriptyline, and diazepam along with other prescribed medication. I stopped taking the tramadol as they made my skin itch and really did nothing for the pain. Within days of taking the amitriptyline I could not even get up off the sofa to make a cup of tea. The diazepam had been given to help with the spasms that my body would go into. When I told the doctor that I was lucky if I managed to get four hours a day on my feet his response was ‘you are lucky some people get nothing.’
By 2014 this had become so bad that visions of being in a wheel chair haunted me. I had days when I could do things for a couple of hours and then consecutive days where I could do nothing. I decided to lay off the meds and see if they were really making a difference to my pain. They made little difference really.
It was late 2014 when I had an operation on my left foot and six weeks later my right, so I had been off my feet for 12 weeks and found myself back on meds that did ease the pain in my feet, post opp.
Where had all my balance gone? It was as if life’s energy had been sucked away from me. New Year 2014 I did manage to go to friends for a couple of hours as they lived only streets away. Just after midnight, while I made my way home, tears rolling down my face, I found myself ashamed at not being in work. I broke down and gave into my feelings of inadequacy and whispered to myself ‘Happy New Year hey Suz?’ I’d heard one friend in particular, totally unaware of his tone and volume of voice and clearly with no understanding that the voice can carry on a wave of frequency especially after gallons of beer ‘some people are rinsing the system and claiming benefit when they should be in work.’ I understood that this had been for my benefit, if only they could have seen the struggle I’d been through just to be there with these guys for New Year.
By now I shuffled around my home holding onto anything to balance myself as my legs would give way underneath me and I would have to rest. My neck pain became so horrific that my head felt it was too heavy for my body to carry. Many times when I tried to do things my head would drop so that my chin would remain on my chest until I had eased the pain by lying down. I could barely put one foot in front of the other. My muscles were weak and I would have frequent muscle spasms my whole body would go into lockdown. I had poor concentration, muscle pain, sore throat, and headache, sensitivity to noise, sleep problems, poor coordination and poor memory and there was not one day that I can honestly say I managed an hour to do anything. And it was time to consider moving home as I could no longer get upstairs.
Feb 2015 my kids who were now young adults insisted I move home and within a week I was renting a small bungalow. Made evident by x-rays I had now torn the rotator cuffs in my shoulders due to the inability to move my physical body. I could not get up or off the toilet without help, I could not get my foot over the bath to take a shower, I was not even able to put my hair up as I could not lift my hands or arms high enough to do so. It was a pitiful sight for sure, still nothing was going to crush my faith. If ever there was a time when someone would fall back into depression this would have been the time, however by now I had accepted my fate, what would be would be. I listened to the advice of the doctors and so I took the medication that had been prescribed and as much as I tried to tell them that I believed that the Amitriptyline was leaving me unable to move at all they upped the dose from 20mg a night to 50mg.
2016 Christmas Eve and as I lay in bed that night not for the first time but what I thought could be the last, I did not think I would wake in the morning as I felt so much weight on my chest and as I dropped off to sleep, soft tears rolled down my face, I vowed If I saw daylight Christmas Day that I would never take the medication that I believed only contributed to my inability to walk again. I did wake and from that morning I gathered all the medication I had been given and put it in a bag, ‘that’s it I’m done.’ I said to myself softly and thought of how many people in the public eye had died because of prescribed medication.
I had severe fatigue on a daily basis and any activity just exhausted me. It was a boom bust situation where I would force myself to do an essential activity but then I would have to spend the following day in bed due to severe fatigue. I had joint pain in most of my body affecting both upper and lower limbs. A medical report in 2017 confirmed that overall it would be unlikely that things would ever change that severe functional disability with mobility had been indicated the available evidence suggests improvement is unlikely in the long term. The registered nurse that did the report suggested that I use a wheelchair in order to attend my nieces wedding during that summer. This wasn’t the first time the wheelchair had been suggested for my daughter-in-law suggested it the previous Christmas. Truth be told, I was afraid to go into a wheelchair as I feared never getting out of one.
My children and my daughter in law and friends would help with housework, shopping and cooking meals. If I could manage to walk 20 m I would have to rest 10 minutes. I had poor grip in both hands and would be unable to self-propel a wheelchair because of the pain and fatigue. After stopping medication due to side effects I began to use my own form of medication yes that’s right I smoked marijuana for pain relief, that dreadful drug that’s so addictive, the drug that I no longer take.
Fear began to grip my physical body like nothing I’d know so far on my journey and while I had faith there was little evidence that I would ever be able to share my dream and Suchi Therapy became a bit of a lost dream .
The power of thought
I would sit and think about all I had been taught via spirit. I had to will my way back somehow. I gave myself some time to heal and mend and began to use those teachings. Consider this as my whole body went into lockdown, the only thing that worked was my voice, and how I still had my spirit I really don’t know. I would chuckle with my friends and suggest I got a job in a super market over the tannoy! But I could see they were really worried for me.
During the following year 2018 I continued to use Suchi relaxation and other Suchi techniques like Suchi massage, while healing myself enough to manage to get myself to a chiropractor, I did manage to attend my nieces wedding without the use of a wheelchair though not for the duration.
I once again began to help others to heal through Suchi relaxation. And just when I could see a light at the end of the tunnel I found myself facing homelessness, through no fault of my own. This threw my physical body right back to square one. So many tower moments, I get knocked down but I get up again. So very many people keep getting hit hard throughout this physical life and I’m not here to dwell on my life, quite the opposite. I am here to help others understand there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Music touches the very heart of our being transcending us to the higher vibrational realms where love transcends all.
From a very small child music became my refuge a way of shutting out the volume of activity surrounding me, my only place of happiness and when I danced I felt alive with spirit. I lived in a child’s dream- world when dancing as an adult in later years I made my dreams a reality.
You can feel every emotion from sadness to heartfelt joy and love through the vibration of music, as if the lyrics were meant for you personally. However it is the music itself that has the ability to transcend us. As a child I would hear so much more than the song itself. There was always a voice that sang with the sound like no other, it was beautiful and I have never heard anything quite like it in this living world, until now reaching my higher self that voice was within me, soothing, soft, heartfelt, pure and loving. My guide who was a gift from the gods vocally moved me in ways I never would have dreamt possible. He had knowledge, and we talked about how our physical body carried our spirit through this living existence.
As a woman who used music as part of her own therapy I urge you to do the same. Find the songs. That up lift you during your journey of healing never use songs that bring you down.
I believe that every singer with a connection to my soul tribe have the answers I had been seeking I too have the answers they seek. Truth be known the voice I searched for I found within me I have the answers to my own freedom and so the pupil becomes the teacher. Do not play Suchi relaxation while driving or using machinery this is a download for the purpose of guided relaxation. You can however use breathing methods from Suchi relaxation throughout your day. Take yourself off to a quiet place where you can just have a few moments of deep breathing.
‘It’s okay not to be okay and to feel this way’
‘Heartache and pain is what shapes us and moves us forward’
‘The hardest part of moving forward in life is to forgive yourself’
‘Dance to the sacred rhythm of life’
‘Sing to your own heart, open your soul’
‘Become one in the present with harmony and balance’
‘When you seek the truth and become one with a pure heart and a pure mind you will find renewed faith and balance’
‘Live in the moment you can do nothing about yesterday and you can do nothing about tomorrow live in today’
‘The more love you give yourself the more you will attract the same of others’
‘Show respect to you and others will do to’
‘Be true to you’
‘Be kind to your mind’
‘Be smart with your own heart’
‘Things don’t get easier you get stronger’
‘Drop the ego let the me go see where we go’
‘Don’t bother someone who is not bothered’
‘You don’t need to be highly intelligent to understand morality’
Through the light
When we are wounded and hurt it is difficult to come out of this energy that may have crushed our soul, this is indeed a time when we need this up lift the most. For it is at this time that darkness has a way of seeping through the cracks.
However you are feeling with complexed emotions when you have lost a part of you, when thinking of a loved one that you miss desperately, when it’s more than just a longing or heartache, it is not just the feeling of loss, you feel the absence, you feel angry, upset, disillusioned and you feel the energy drain from your own self it’s a never-ending search for a way to make things right. You can only make it right through the light.